Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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