I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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