hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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