also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
