my mouth tastes like poor choices
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
