Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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