so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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