There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Actions speak louder than pants.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize