Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
