For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
