it was like his penis was on wheels.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
