I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Are we still banned from the library?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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