I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
