Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
