Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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