Christians are straight up FREAKS
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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