Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
