WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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