I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Randomize
