theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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