I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
