I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
