Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
