Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
