I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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