last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
