I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
