When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
