Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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