i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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