i permit you to call me
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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