it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
