Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize