It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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