You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
