I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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