i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish I only lived at night.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
