Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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