mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
