I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
