is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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