: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
