Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
