Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
