She went from zero to smokin in five shots
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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