I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
