I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
