How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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