shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
