oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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