Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
