I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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