The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
