We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
