Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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