im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize