just tell him i said nine months
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
